Yep, that's true...But have you ever heard two drunk Irishmen talking?...That's something....inexplicable...))))

select gender)))
http://demotivation.me/un4oc7n ...

One more talent from South West Airlines:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v ...

a bunch of very talented people!))))
By the way I know now that distance to destination (by air) is measured in nautical miles..)))

Can you say "I love you" any better?
What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it.
Touching words from the mouth of babes.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'(Terri - age 4)

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'(Danny - age 7)

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'(Emily - age 8)

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'(Bobby - age 7 (Wow!))

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'(Noelle - age 7)

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'(Tommy - age 6)

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'(Cindy - age 8)

'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'(Clare - age 6)

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'(Chris - age 7)

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'(Mary Ann - age 4)
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'(Lauren - age 4)

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)(Karen - age 7)

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'(Mark - age 6)

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' (Jessica - age 8)

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Dunno is it true or not but a nice story:

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.'

'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked.

'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.

'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

)))
Well, fantastic quotes and story!

ours in the UK choosing the best insurance cover...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v ...

this time there is one for car insurance from Sergei...enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v ...

Rude Parrot.

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude.

David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer.

For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."

David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made a such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"


Слова:
parrot - попугай;
expletive - повторяемое бранное слово, выражение;
desperation - отчаяние, безысходность;
squawk - громкий, пронзительный крик;
frightened - испуганный;
offend - обижать, оскорблять; задевать;
endeavor - пытаться, прилагать усилия, стараться;
astonish - изумлять, поражать, удивлять.

weather sucks here, in Moscow. It's wet, it's cold and it's muddy

is anybody home?

Indicator

A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch. Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another."

The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."

A tough dilemma

Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let one of you go."

Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."
Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."
Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."

...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..."

Two guys go hunting...

Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life.

When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream.

He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"

Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"


chipmunk - бурундук

HEGS

The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S.
"What's that?", the patient asks.
"It's a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis." The patient wants to know if there's a cure, to which the Doctor responds, "We have to keep you in a hospital room and feed you nothing but pancackes."
"Why only pancackes?", asks the patient.
The Doctor answers, "They're the only thing that will fit under the door."

Hi Inna12
I liked story "The Indicator" :-)))

Hi to all English-speaking buddies! Nice to see you back and cheerful...Inna, thanks for witty jokes. They really brought up/rertieved my nearly lost smile! Just a very busy day...

hi, guys:) I'm glad you liked it:)

I must say we've missed you....;-)

Noah's Ark
Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark .
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.
:-)

Good points to be considered..!)))

Well, I have only one question. Is that all "flooding stuff" able to cope with earthquakes and tsunami?

perhaps but ,sure, not with radiation(((

I'm not sure Arc will survive an earthquake being built "on high ground"...

we are all born to be wasted, this way or another

Oh, Inna it's a bit cruel, isn't it? ..))

Unexpectedly depressive mood for early Spring Friday evening. Or hangover has already come? :-)))

I am quite cheerful on the opposite, possibly because has made it to Friday!:-)

MSL, I'm trying hard to remembe..to lazy to search through all 72 pages..Was it you who spent some time in Mila's fridge?

Geez, something is missing.. "r" and "o" :)))))))))))

Oh, damn fridge,not again, please..))By the way my original fridge is well too small to keep anything bigger than a box of matches..

ok, now I'm pretty sure it was him who ate up all sausages in the fridge:)))))))

vegetarian sausages?..)))can't be 100% sure...))

Mila so what's the point of this tiny fridge?

is it a portable one? :)

Yes, this is the one!)))always fresh strawberries and cream, at least...)))It's in my son's room now- cold beer and drinks...)))

strawberries..cream..yummy:)

Well, never can say "No" to one of the few pleasures...in life)))

I should say a debates you had while I was having my jogging!

Exactly! What a debate we had while you were out jogging!...))

Please don't judge me too strictly. I was out of my breath after that jogging :-)

Not at all, MSL! I am not judging but just trying to help in a gentle (I hope) way...))))

Accepted :-)

Take care and bring your breath and heart beat to normal rate!))))
Nice to talk and see you later...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v ...

I like 'em so much

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v ...

Hi Slava!
You haven't changed your dream job, yet, have you?.... They are very amateur, true...but nice...)))

Surgeon was asked if his patients are satisfied with the treatment.
The answer was: I don't know for sure. But nobody has complained yet...